Sitting in the Chair
A CAREGIVER'S STORY. A PATIENT ADVOCATE'S PERSPECTIVE.
A GUIDE FOR THE MOMENT YOU NEVER THOUGHT WOULD COME.
I believe this book belongs in every single household, because everyone will need it at some point in their lives.
“
— Tony McIntyre,
longtime writer and columnist
Paperback • Hardcover • Kindle
You Never Think You'll Be the One Sitting in the Chair.
Most of us never expect to become a caregiver. There is no warning, no orientation, and no handbook waiting for you when someone you love suddenly becomes seriously ill.
One day, you're living your normal life. The next, you're sitting in a chair beside a hospital bed—trying to understand what the doctors are telling you, making decisions you never imagined you'd have to make, and wondering whether you're asking the right questions.
I spent more than twenty years working inside healthcare, and even I wasn't prepared for what it felt like to sit on the other side of that chair.
Sitting in the Chair was written for the person sitting there now—and for everyone who may someday find themselves there.
More Than a Memoir.
Seven Tools You Can Actually Use.
The story is what brings you into the room. The tools are what I hope you'll carry with you when you leave it.
1 — Find Your Footing
When everything changes at once, learn how to slow the moment down, understand what's happening, and determine what needs your attention first.
2 — Ask the Question Anyway
You don't have to understand the medical language to know when something doesn't make sense. Ask—and keep asking until you understand.
3 — Don't Accept Silence
When you aren't getting answers, learn how to respectfully push past delays, uncertainty, and the dreaded “someone will get back to you.”
4 — Protect Their Dignity
Illness can take away independence quickly. Advocacy means protecting the person you love—not just treating the patient.
5 — Navigate the System
Healthcare is complicated even for people who work inside it. Learn how to understand who's responsible for what and where to turn when you're stuck.
6 — Drive the Next Step
Don't assume someone else is connecting all the dots. Learn how to keep care moving forward and make sure the next step actually happens.
7 — Trust What You Know
You know your person. When something feels wrong—even when you can't explain exactly why—your observations matter. Speak up.
Step Into the Story
I felt I lived what you were going through.
“
“The words painted a picture as if I was there watching you go through hell on earth…”
“You captured so many moving and truly emotional headaches and heartaches brilliantly, one could almost feel the pain and agony…”
— Tony McIntyre,
longtime writer and columnist
A story you can feel.
Tools you can use.
A voice you'll remember when you need your own.
Be Ready Before You Need to Be.
You may not be sitting in the chair today. But when that moment comes—for you or someone you love—you don't have to walk into it without a voice.
Sitting in the Chair
Paperback — $18.99
Hardcover — $29.99
Paperback • Hardcover • Kindle
Signed by Melanie Rae and
shipped directly to you.
Step Into the Story
AN EXCERPT FROM SITTING IN THE CHAIR
“I need to go home,” I told him. My voice didn’t even sound like mine anymore. It was tired. Flat. Empty.
I had been at the hospital for days, living in that strange, suspended animation of fluorescent lights and beeping monitors. I was running on adrenaline, determination, and almost no sleep. I couldn’t think straight anymore, and I could barely focus on the words the doctors were throwing at me. It was clear I couldn’t keep going like that.
So I leaned over, kissed him, and said, “I’ll be back in the morning.”
He grabbed my wrist.
His grip was tight—stronger than I expected.
“Please don’t leave me.”
I froze. The urgency in his voice stopped the air in my lungs. I looked deep into his eyes, and what I saw there was something I had never seen before in all our years together.
Fear.
Not frustration.
Not pain.
Absolute fear.
This man, my husband of thirty-eight years, a proud Marine who had survived things I could only imagine, the one who had always protected me from every storm, was terrified.
That’s when something inside me broke. For the first time, I wasn’t sure I could hold it all together.
“I’m right here,” I said, sitting back down beside him on the hard vinyl chair. My voice shook despite my efforts to hide it.
“I’m not going anywhere.”